


Like In Our Vows

by LucySpencer



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Children of Characters, F/M, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Family Issues, Future Fic, Wedding Fluff, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-11-29 15:22:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11443641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucySpencer/pseuds/LucySpencer
Summary: EO standalone futurefic. A tale of weddings, family, love, and a petting zoo. Heavy on the sweetness with just a few minor sprinklings of angst.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Is this thing still on?
> 
> It's been so long since I've posted that I've almost forgotten how this works. If you actually missed me, lol, I apologize. Mental illness is a bitch and for a while there I was in a place where creativity just took way more energy than I had to spare. But I'm back, and apart from this standalone two-shot, I have a new TG chapter nearly completed, so maybe that'll see the light of day before summer ends!
> 
>  **A/N:** This is a standalone story, albeit in two parts because it got kinda long. The second part just needs some final edits, and then I'll post it in the next couple of days. This is set in the future of TG-verse, but you don't have to have read anything else I've written in order for this to make sense (I hope?). This is pretty fluffy, especially for me...just family fic with no real sex/violence/etc. I was going to write a really dark one-shot, and then Jaime wanted something happy for her graduation, so you can thank her if you enjoy this :D
> 
> I really try not to beg for feedback, but I could really use some encouragement- so if you like this, please let me know! If you hate it, let me know, and I'll just be happy that you read it!
> 
> Part II coming later this weekend. But for now...

In a way, it had been Noah who predicted it.

You and Elliot had been sitting at the dining room table with the kids, listening to Lilly chatter on about all her new college adventures. She and her brother were both home for the weekend to attend the baptism of their older sister Elizabeth's baby, and since this was her first trip back to the city since you dropped her off for freshman orientation, there was plenty of catching up to do.

"And then in my Polish class-"

"This is what I'm paying tuition for, you to learn Polish?" Elliot groused, his smile belying his pride in his youngest daughter. You both still remember the days when you were unsure if she'd ever even master English. "When are you ever going to use that?"

"I have to take a non-Romance language for my major."

"Ha. 'Non-Romance'," Noah said slyly. "Dad, I'll bet you ten bucks she signed up for it because there's some guy in the class that she's got a crush on."

Lilly huffed. "That's not even what it means, a Romance language is-"

"I know what it means! It was a joke."

"It wasn't funny."

"But it's true." Noah turned toward you and Elliot, shaking his head. "This is on you guys for putting her in an all-girls school for 13 years. She's socially maladjusted."

"Says _you_."

You didn't think any more of it at the time, too busy enjoying the good-natured teasing between your kids that you missed hearing on a daily basis. But five and a half years later, surrounded by what must be the entire population of a small Polish city, you remember your son's prophetic words and smile to yourself.

Noah wasn't entirely correct. There was no cute guy in her class, but there was one at a conference she attended as part of her first post-graduation job as a teacher at a preschool for deaf children. There was a presenter who caught her attention, tall and blonde with eyes as blue as her own, and when he introduced himself in a familiar accent she knew what she had to do.

His name was Tomek and yes, he was Polish. He was a few years older than Lilly and was visiting the US to do some research for his thesis on cross-cultural approaches to speech therapy. She went up to speak to him after his presentation, complimenting his work and mentioning that she had studied Polish in college, so they had a lot in common and by the way, how much of the city have you seen so far?

He wasn't going to turn down this pretty stranger who was offering to play tour guide, and so a few hours later they went on their first unofficial date. They had bagels at Lilly's favorite bakery before taking a walk in the park that lasted all afternoon. By dinnertime, she was convinced he was The One.

They saw each other every day after that for the entire month he was in New York. Somehow she managed to keep it a secret from you and Elliot that whole time, which was the most amazing part of the whole thing because your daughter had never been known as a great secret keeper. On his second to last day in the country, she told you both that she had "a boyfriend, but he lives far away, and I didn't say anything because I know you'd tell me I shouldn't get invested in a long distance relationship...but it's too late for that now, because I _am_ invested already, so I guess you should probably meet him."

You admit that you didn't take her that seriously at first. It was nothing against Tomek, who was intelligent, polite, and laid back in a way that balanced out your high-strung daughter's personality well. You just assumed that once he returned home, they would both go back to their separate lives and decide that the distance between them was too great to make a relationship work- but oh, how wrong you were.

Being an ocean apart _did_ cause its share of difficulties. But rather than giving up, it only strengthened their resolve to stay together, which is why it wasn't long before they started talking marriage. _That_ got you and Elliot's attention.

"Not everyone waits for 20 years and two kids before they get married," Lilly retorted when you asked if things were maybe moving a bit too fast.

She had a point. "But you've never even lived with him, you haven't been with each other day after day to see the good and the bad..."

"How am I supposed to do that when neither of us can just pack up and move in together?" Again she had a point. It wasn't just the Atlantic that separated them; there were also borders to contend with. Tomek had been applying for jobs in the US, but it was nearly impossible to find anyone in his field that was willing to sponsor him for a work visa. Even if he did, it would likely be only temporary, meaning he'd have to return home for a number of years afterward before he'd be eligible to return again. The laws in Poland were just as complex, and Lilly wasn't likely to find a job there when she barely spoke the language.

That part was fine by you, because you definitely didn't want her living so far away in a strange country with a new husband- but you weren't crazy about the idea of them getting married here either. You and Elliot were concerned that Tomek could have ulterior motives for this marriage. He seemed very sincere when you met him, but the two of you knew that people can easily put up a facade and this fact was sometimes lost on your daughter, who wanted to believe the best of everyone.

It was clear that Lilly wasn't looking for your permission, though. She was going to go through with this, and you could either support her or get out of her way. You just weren't expecting the "support" part to be so literal.

"You want me to do _what_?" Elliot looked at the stack of papers in front of him in disbelief.

"It's part of the application to bring him over here. I have to show that I earn a certain amount of money...but I don't quite make that much. So I need you to basically be a cosigner."

"You want me to do what," Elliot repeats.

"I'm not asking you guys for any actual money! He and I both have savings, plus I know he'll find a job as soon as he gets here. It's just a formality."

"This form says that I'm financially liable for him for up to ten years, even if you get divorced."

"He's not going to be asking you for money!" she insists. "Do you think his parents would just let him live in poverty? No, of course not."

"Can I get that from them in writing?" he grumbles.

You're ashamed at how stereotypical your thinking was, but you and Elliot had both assumed that his family was poor. You pictured three or four generations living together in some one bedroom apartment, the Soviet-era kind made from a giant block of crumbling concrete, with everybody huddling together in front of a single radiator in the winter. Lilly promised you that this wasn't the case and that they were actually quite well off, but you were still somewhat skeptical until she returned from a trip to meet his family and celebrate their engagement. Turns out that they had a beautiful home in the city, a vacation house in the countryside, and even a small ski chalet in France. Lilly also came home with an expensive gold jewelry set to match her engagement ring, a strand of pearls, several new designer outfits, and a promise to go furniture shopping for the couple's new apartment when his family came to the States for the wedding. (You had the feeling that they weren't going to Ikea and Target, which were the places you had suggested they register at).

Tomek and his father visited New York once more before the wedding. They came with plenty of gifts for all of you, even Noah, but you were mostly grateful for the opportunity to meet another member of his family. It turns out that Tomek's parents were just as cautious about this marriage as you were, and Elliot's mind was somehow set at ease once he knew that you all shared the same concerns.

But that wasn't what ultimately won you over. A week or two after their visit, you woke up late one night and saw Elliot sitting on the edge of the bed, looking equal parts stunned and proud. "Hey...everything alright?"

"Yeah. I just went to the kitchen to get a drink and I ran into Lilly."

"Oh. And?" You knew she got up in the middle of the night to text her fiance before he went to work, so that wasn't necessarily surprising.

"Did you know that she talks to him on FaceTime?"

"What? You're kidding." Your daughter was normally a very confident person, but there were a few lingering insecurities from her childhood, and the biggest of these was her fear of taking phone calls. She still had trouble sometimes with understanding other people's speech, especially when she was talking to someone on a phone or through a screen. It was too embarrassing for her to keep asking someone to speak up or repeat themselves, so she went out of her way to avoid talking on the phone to almost everyone except you and Elliot. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I asked her about it and she just gives me that 'duh, Dad' look." He smiles and shakes his head. "I guess that kid must be doing something right."

It wasn't like all of your doubts were erased right then. You still worried about how Lilly would adjust to married life after a relatively short period of trans-Atlantic dating, but you felt much more confident that she had picked someone who was worthy of her, especially when she told you that he was on board with her plans for children. She had always been aware that her older brother was adopted, and she and Noah had been involved in volunteering and fundraising for foster children ever since they were old enough to help out. Through that, she saw how kids with disabilities had a difficult time finding a permanent placement because many parents couldn't deal with their special needs.

"I want a big family," she told you when she was maybe 13 years old.

"You _have_ a big family."

"No, when I'm grown up! I wanna adopt all the deaf foster kids so they'll have a home with someone who knows how to help them and loves them the way they are."

You thought her plan was very sweet, but you figured that her goals might change as she got older. Instead she seemed to grow more determined every year, even taking a job at a preschool for the hard of hearing in order to gain more hands-on experience. She hoped to become a stay at home mom eventually, just like you were when she and Noah were young, and you were happy to hear that Tomek was supportive of this as well.

She may not have her own brood yet, but she does have a big family that's about to get bigger. Tomek has three siblings, two with spouses and children of their own, and a veritable village of aunts and uncles and cousins. You were told that 24 relatives were flying in from Poland to attend the wedding, but you swear there must be another dozen or two that stowed away with 've all been very warm and friendly, even the ones who don't speak English beyond five or ten set phrases, but it's been exhausting trying to take care of all the last-minute wedding arrangements while also playing tour guide. Several of them have never been to New York before and are determined to see every single attraction in the encyclopedia-sized guidebook they brought with them from home. That is, of course, in between shopping and cooking. They've also been taking advantage of online shopping, so your doorbell rings constantly as more and more deliveries come in.

You were a bit worried about being able to keep up with their largesse after all the gifts they showered upon Lilly, not wanting to seem cheap and not knowing if you were expected to reciprocate. Tomek didn't seem like the materialistic type- thank God- but you still wanted to make a good impression on him and his parents. This led to you and Elliot going on a shopping expedition to a Rolex boutique that ended abruptly after he Googled the watch prices from inside the store. (The old adage is true. If you have to ask about the price, you can't afford it). You briefly considered buying one from eBay, but there was way too much that could go wrong with that scenario, and with your luck you'd be spending the wedding day in a jail cell. You could see the headlines now- "Former NYPD Detectives Busted In Stolen Watch Sting: 'We Did It All For Our Son In Law'."

Your other concern was that they'd be disappointed by the wedding itself. You thought you'd been generous with your financial contribution, and Lilly was spending a fair bit of her own money, but you knew it might not be up to their usual standard. You were pleasantly surprised to find that they loved it all, from the church to the flowers and the decorations in a red and white color scheme. Their one objection? The food. There was simply not enough- but not to worry, they would take care of it! Your kitchen has been in continuous use all week, and barely a minute has gone by while you're at home without someone asking you to taste whatever it is they're whipping up now. As much as you've longed for even a few moments of rest in the last few days, you'll admit that you're really going to miss your 24/7 chef service when they're gone.

"Olivia!"

Elliot catches your attention by waving at you from across the room, slowly making his way through the sea of people in the church reception hall. Every few feet he's stopped by someone looking to congratulate, shake hands with, or even bear hug the father of the bride. "Who are these people? I swear they've multiplied."

"We're not going to run out of food, are we?"

He looks over his shoulder at a table that's probably ten feet long and overflowing with Polish delicacies. "No way. Well, if we do, we'll still have plenty of vodka."

The food smells delicious, even at a distance, and you're about to make your way over to sample some when you're interrupted by a young woman with light brown hair slicked back in a bun.

"Aunt Liv! I've been looking all over for you!"

"Annaliese! Thank God you made it. Do your parents know you're here?" Annaliese Amaro, the maid of honor and hairstylist to the bride, had to get special permission in order to leave her training program at Quantico overnight for the wedding.

"They do, and they're on their way...but right now I need you, I've gotta fix your hair."

You're not sure what exactly is wrong with your hair, and you happen to think it looks quite nice- but you know that you aren't the expert on current fashion, at least if your daughter's reaction to your original outfit for the ceremony was anything to go by. "Okay, but I can't be away too long. I'm supposed to be helping to greet everyone once they start coming in."

"You should just let my dad do that," Annaliese jokes. "Uncle Elliot, I'd volunteer to do your hair, but..."

He shrugs with a smile, patting his bald head. "That's the great thing about not having any, I'm always ready for any occasion. But I'll come with you two if that's okay?"

You make your way downstairs, holding onto Elliot's arm as you do. You'll act like it's for your own benefit, and it partially is, but his knee has been giving him trouble lately and his unsteady gait makes you a little nervous. Falls are no joke at your age. Just last week, Kathy stumbled while getting out of the car and hurt her hip. The doctors expect her to make a full recovery, but she'll be spending the foreseeable future in the hospital, and it's yet another reminder to you and Elliot that you're not as young as you once were.

Rather than feeling morbid, however, you're just incredibly grateful that you and your husband are both alive and healthy enough to enjoy days like today. It's something you don't take for granted. You still remember a time when you never thought you'd have the experience of being part of a family and sharing all the little moments that come with that, like watching Elliot pretend he's not tearing up when he sees Lilly in her wedding gown for the first time.

Your daughter isn't as worried about protecting his dignity as you are. "Dad. Oh my god, cut it out. I see you crying."

"I'm not-"

"Yes. You are. And then I'll cry too and my makeup's gonna be ruined and...we're not going to do that, remember?" she says, putting her hands on her father's shoulders. "Be strong."

"You're sure about all this? You can still change your mind."

"I'm sure, daddy. Besides, then what would we do with all of Tomek's family? They're here for another week- that might be awkward," she jokes.

"I don't care." She rolls her eyes and he shakes his head at her. "I'm serious. You change your mind five minutes or five years from now, doesn't matter. If you've got ten kids with you, doesn't matter. You can always, _always_ come home."

"You mean you're not even a tiny bit excited to get rid of me?" Lilly had moved back home temporarily in the months leading up to her wedding, and while you and Elliot had both enjoyed having her around, it had definitely been quite an adjustment after being empty nesters for five years.

Elliot's eyes sparkle, looking between you and her. "It'll be like your mom and I are on a second honeymoon while you're away on yours."

"Okay, that's just gross, Dad. Don't." She grimaces, undoubtedly remembering the day she came home to find you and her father making out like teenagers on the living room couch ("You two are _old_! You should be...I don't know, playing cards! Knitting! Not THAT!").

"We deserve it, considering that we never had one after our wedding."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Annaliese chimes in as she wraps a portion of your hair around the barrel of a curling iron.

"It was one hell of a day, that's for sure."

_"Daaaaddy?"_

_You had been waiting all day (plus about twenty years, give or take) to say your vows and make this official. And now, just as the court clerk opens his mouth to begin..._

_"Daddy," Noah repeats, tugging on the pocket of Elliot's suit pants. "I needa potty!"_

_"Noah, bud, you just went."_

_And he had. According to your best estimates, he had been on about seventeen bathroom trips in the three hours you'd spent waiting in the lobby of City Hall._

_The folks at the marriage bureau, in their infinite wisdom, didn't allow couples to make appointments. First come, first serve. In theory, this was a fair and equitable idea. In theory, you were also going to be at the door as soon as they opened for the day._

_In reality, you had two small children and a large group of people to organize, which meant you were already running 45 minutes late by the time you left the apartment. For the first time._

_You were well on your way downtown when you realized you'd left the diaper bag at home. Normally you'd just duck into a CVS to grab a few necessities and hope no one needed a change of clothes- but you had also left your marriage license and the copy of Elliot's divorce decree inside said diaper bag. So back home you went._

_In the meantime, the rest of the group proceeded on to the courthouse without you. Nick decided to 'take one for the team' and pretend he was the potential groom in order to save you and Elliot a place in the rapidly forming queue. His bride to be? The logical choice would have been his 39 weeks pregnant girlfriend. But instead, he chose Munch._

_"Fin turned me down," he explained when you finally made it back to City Hall with diaper bag and paperwork in hand. He turned toward the frowning middle aged woman at the counter. "Hey, so my g- uh, *fiance* here, he's having second thoughts. Not sure he's ready to commit, you know?" John shakes his head, trying to sell his role as the groom with cold feet. "But my friends are here with me, and they just happen to have a marriage license all ready to go, so what do you say you let them take my place?"_

_She glares at him for a moment, and then her surly expression gives way to a bright smile. "You're that guy! The one who was so bad at Wheel of Fortune! I've seen that video on YouTube a million times...man, that is funny. When it was supposed to be 'apple', but you said-"_

_"Yeah, I know," he says, face turning red. "So maybe you could do me a favor?"_

_You're starting to worry, because if she's seen that clip, she might recall that *you* were also there as his supposed fiance. But like everyone else who's watched, she only seems to remember him and not the mortified pregnant woman at his side. Thank God._

_"Will you do the line for me?" she asks._

_"Uh, I dunno-"_

_"Nick," you hiss, looking behind you at the line of people that seems to have tripled within minutes, "just do the line."_

_He sighs. "An asshole a day..."_

_"Keeps the doctor away!" she finishes, clapping her hands together in delight before taking your paperwork and handing you a card with a number on it. After a quick selfie between Nick and his newest fan, you were ready to take his (and Munch's) place in line._

_"Do I get to count that as another failed marriage if we never even made it to the altar?" John wonders aloud._

_And then came the very un-romantic wait for your number to be called. There were all sorts of couples around you, everyone from teens with matching florescent hair to elderly folks with matching motorized scooters. It would've been a great people watching opportunity if you weren't so busy watching your own group. There was Amanda, whose feet were so swollen that she was wearing flip flops in December, walking back and forth between her seat and the bathroom as she clutched her lower back. You suspected she was in very early labor but she insisted she was 'fine' as Noah and Maureen's son Benjamin followed behind her like little ducklings in clip on bowties._

_"Mooom. Less' go," Noah whined._

_"It's almost our turn," you lied, knowing there was least a dozen couples ahead of you. "Do you want to look at a book?"_

_"No."_

_"Do you want goldfish?"_

_"No."_

_"Hey boys," Cragen calls out to the two toddlers. "I've got something for you." When they come over to investigate, he pulls a couple of matchbox cars out of his coat pocket. "I forgot I was carrying these around from when we took Eileen's grandkids out to eat yesterday."_

_Both boys' eyes go wide as if he just performed a magic trick, and Noah squealed in delight, remembering a key phrase that you thought he had finally, *finally* forgotten. "Ticker treat!"_

_Noah's main takeaway from Halloween had been that if you said the magic words, adults were required to give you something. It had taken nearly two months of being told that it only works one day a year to get it out of his system, but now he was back in business and showing his little nephew this important life skill._

_They went from person to person in your group, happily collecting whatever odds and ends everyone could scrounge from their purses or pockets, and they were about to move on to the strangers seated behind you when Munch intervened. "Hey, you pint sized beggars, what say you we visit the gift shop over there?"_

_"Are you sure?" you ask._

_"Course I am. Let Uncle John spoil the Munchkins."_

_"Nothing that will stain their clothes," you warn, envisioning them coming back with giant gooey candy bars._

_Fin looks up from the screen of Eli's iPad and whatever game they've been discussing. "You're gonna regret that."_

_"Oh, probably," you agree, glancing down at the sleeping baby nestled in the crook of your arm and carefully adjusting her yellow headband._

_Maureen comes to sit next to you and peeks over at Lilly. "She's calmed down now?"_

_"Yeah...it's still just a little overwhelming for her when she's in noisy places, but we're figuring it out."_

_"I can imagine."_

_"It's sorta nice being able to turn this off when I want her to sleep in public," you say, fingering the tiny device behind her ear. By hooking it to a headband decorated with a big flower or bow, it's almost impossible to tell that it's not just a fashionable accessory. "It almost feels like I'm cheating when I do."_

_"Hey, whatever works. I'm definitely not judging. Do you still sign to her?"_

_You nod. "We're going to keep doing both, speaking and signing, for now...that way she'll have more options because we don't know what the future's going to look like. But anyway," you say, quickly shifting the conversation, "Noah loves signing so much too. He's picked it up so fast and it's really helped him communicate. We can barely learn enough to keep up with him because he wants to know what the sign is for everything he sees."_

_And there he is right now, running toward you and almost crashing into a chair as he does. "Mommy! Look'a this!"_

_"Wow." He and Benjamin are wearing identical giant foam Statue of Liberty hats that say 'I heart NY' and holding identical plastic torches which, you are delighted to discover, play God Bless America when you press a button. You give John a pointed look as you ask your son "This is what Uncle Munch got you?"_

_"I am merely a conduit. They picked them out themselves," he says as the song starts to play again._

_"Doesn't mean you have to say yes!"_

_Noah points to his hat. "Mommy, what's sign?"_

_"I don't know, baby. It's a crown. Momma doesn't know the sign for that."_

_"Daddy, what's sign?" he asks, moving onto the next parent._

_"Daddy doesn't know either, buddy."_

_Noah wrinkles up his face like he's about to let you both have it. Fortunately, Amanda's slowly lifting herself up out of her chair and he's momentarily distracted. "I needa potty."_

_"Then come along, little man," Amanda says, nodding sympathetically at him._

_No sooner had the two of them returned than you heard the PA system announce 'Now serving number 1004.' The words you had been longing to hear!_

_Your group made its way down the corridor that led to the "chapel," albeit slowly and to the tune of God Bless America. "Noah, baby, you're going to have to put that away now. We have to be very quiet."_

_"I'll make sure he does," Kathleen promises as she takes Lilly from you. Your usually friendly daughter is going through a stage where she doesn't want to be held by anyone other than Mom or Dad, but she doesn't cry when you hand her off- just frowns at you to let you know she's not pleased with this turn of events._

_"Hey Noah, why don't you take your crown off so that Maureen can get some nice pictures of you?"_

_"No."_

_"But your-"_

_"No it's MINE!" he shouts, stomping his foot._

_"Let him wear it, Liv," Elliot says. "You already went through this with him once today."_

_He was referring to an incident before you left the apartment this morning in which he refused to wear the sweater you picked out for him. Normally this behavior would mean a time out, as it did earlier, but you had no place for him to go and you didn't really want him to be red faced and snotty nosed in your wedding album. "But the pictures..."_

_"He'll take it off in a minute. And if he doesn't- 25 years from now, we'll all be laughing about it. There are worse things. Now come here." You hang back while everyone else files into the chapel, his hands clasping both of yours. "Are you ready? You're not going to back out now, are you?"_

_He tries to pass it off as a joke, but you can tell there's that little bit of genuine doubt hidden just under the surface. "After this? We didn't wait all morning for nothing. Someone's getting married, and I'd rather it be you and me than Nick and Munch."_

_"Bet now you wish we would've ran off and eloped with just the two of us."_

_You look at the group assembled on the other side of the doorway- your babies, your soon-to-be stepchildren, your former coworkers. Your *family*. All the people you love gathered together in one room to celebrate and support you. It may not be a traditional family, the cookie cutter kind you longed for as a child...but it's something even better._

_"No way." You give him a kiss, your lips barely brushing together so as not to smudge your freshly reapplied lipstick. "Let's go get married."_

_God Bless America starts to play as you enter the chapel._

_The ceremony is short by design, both to cater to little attention spans and because there's still a lobby full of people waiting for their turn, but the clerk talks to you briefly before it begins so he can get to know you. He's impressed by how many of you are former or current cops and by the number (and age span) of Elliot's children. He shakes hands with Eli, telling him he now has a very important job as a big brother, and Eli nods seriously._

_As the clerk begins reading from his script, he barely gets past "to join these two people in marriage" when Lilly starts to whimper to herself._

_"It's okay, go ahead," you assure him, making eye contact with Lilly and mouthing 'I'm right here' while Kathleen bounces her on her lap to try distracting her._

_"We also recognize the family and friends of the bride and groom who are gathered together to share in this joyous occasion-"_

_Your daughter lets out a long whine, flapping her hands in frustration. Kathleen sighs and shushes her again._

_"Each of you has played an important role in their lives, and each of you-"_

_"WAAAH!" Lilly will no longer be ignored._

_"Quiet!" Noah barks, arms crossed over his chest like he can't believe the nerve of this baby._

_"Don't worry, I'll take her," you tell Kathleen, reaching out and lifting Lilly into your arms. "Sorry about that...it'll be alright now, I promise. She just wants me to hold her."_

_Sure enough, she went silent except for a satisfied coo as soon as you had her on your hip. And that's where she stayed, making faces at her daddy as the two of you repeated your vows and Eli brought the rings up to the front of the room. Everyone laughed as she lifted a chubby fist to try and grab the shiny object out of your hand before you could put it on Elliot's finger._

_"You have a lot to be grateful for," the clerk remarked. You nodded and bit your lip, blinking back tears. "And now, by the authority vested in me by the state of New York-"_

_"Daaaaddy..." Noah jumps down from his front row seat and comes to stand next to his father. "Daddy, I needa potty."_

_"Noah, bud, you just went."_

_"But I gotta!"_

_Elliot gave the clerk an apologetic smile and then turns back to his son. "You can wait just one minute, okay? Stand here and hold my hand and then we'll go."_

_"Now the whole family's together," the clerk remarked. And it wasn't what you were planning on- nothing in your life ever is- but there was something so fitting about your kids being right there beside you as he officially pronounced you husband and wife. "You may now kiss the bride!"_

_You shifted your grasp on Lilly so that Elliot could kiss you. In your peripheral vision you saw your guests standing up to applaud, but your lips were still a millimeter or so apart when you heard a woman's voice._

_"Oh...oh no." Amanda is looking toward the floor at something you can't see. "I think...I'm pretty sure my water just broke."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! As promised, here's the second (and final) installment of this story.
> 
> **A/N:** Pretty tame family stuff, so there's nothing specific to warn for. Title from _say you won't let go_ by james arthur.
> 
> Thank you so much for your kind feedback on the last chapter, and please feel free to let me know what you think of this as well (hint, hint). Maybe if you comment, it'll encourage me to finish the next TG chapter? ;) In any case, enjoy.

"And that was it," Elliot says, grinning in recollection. "We all got out of there pretty damn fast after that."

Lilly and Annaliese look at each other in amusement, having heard this story probably at least a hundred times in their lives. "Well, Uncle Elliot- if I win the lottery, I'll send you guys on a cruise to make up for the vacation I ruined."

"Appreciate it." You've always joked that Annaliese's untimely appearance was the reason you never had a honeymoon, but the truth was that you never had much of one planned to start with. You were going to go to a hotel for the rest of the day and make a late night of it while Nick (and Amanda, but mostly Nick) watched the kids. Those plans obviously got scrapped when Amanda went into labor, and although you had plenty of other babysitting offers, you decided that what you really wanted to do was to go home and celebrate with takeout food and your babies.

One of Lilly's bridesmaids called Annaliese's name, looking for help with her makeup, and she patted your shoulder apologetically. "I gotta run. But you look much better now!"

"We'd better get back upstairs," you tell Lilly. "People are going to start showing up any minute now."

She nods, and for the first time you see a flash of nervousness cross her face. Elliot picks up on it too. "You're going to be okay, Lillybug. But if you change your mind..."

"I know, I know," she says, rolling her eyes good-naturedly at the old nickname. "Now go."

As soon as you're out in the hallway, Elliot turns to you. "She _is_ going to be okay, right?"

"Yes." You lean back against the wall and take his hand. "He's a good guy. You even said so yourself."

"I just think, if they could date for a few more years instead of having to rush into marriage..."

"I know. But it is what it is and...we've taught her well. She's taught _herself_ well." You both knew what the other was thinking about without even having to say a word. Lilly's college boyfriend was, unbeknownst to either of you, _not_ a 'good guy'. She kept it to herself for over a year until she finally called home crying late one night to tell you they were over.

It wasn't easy on any of you. Naturally, Elliot's first impulse was to drive up to Syracuse and beat the living shit out of the kid, bad back be damned. That turned out not to be necessary, because Lilly had already given him a swift knee to the groin the second he raised a hand to her (Elliot couldn't have been prouder).

You brought her home for a few days to give her a chance to regroup and decide what she wanted to do next. Part of you didn't want her to go back because you were worried that he or his friends might try to get revenge- you'd seen it so many times- but she insisted she wasn't going to let anyone scare her away from the school she loved. (You couldn't have been prouder).

So she returned to campus and thankfully, the situation never escalated. She had a good group of friends to support her and at your urging, she went to see a counselor for a couple of months even though she balked at the idea at first (she _was_ your daughter, after all).

But back at home, you and Elliot spent more than a few sleepless nights asking yourself how this could've happened and wondering if you were somehow to blame. How could anyone treat such a sweet, kind young woman like that? You'd seen it before thousands of times- seen much, much worse- but it still didn't prepare you for what it would be like when the woman in question was your own daughter. You thought you had raised her to know that she deserved to be treated with respect and that she shouldn't settle for anything less; that 'well, he's never hit me' wasn't a good enough reason to stay with someone who was verbally and emotionally abusive.

That was the thing you had discovered about parenting- it didn't get any easier or less stressful just because the kids were out of the house. And after what felt like dozens of hours on your therapist's couch, you got to a point where you realized that she _had_ done what you taught her when she ended the relationship, even if it had taken her some time to get to that step. She trusted you and her dad enough to come to you for help, which your therapist promised you was a sign that you were good parents. It wasn't your fault, just like it wasn't Lilly's (that one sounded strangely familiar).

"She's going to be alright," you say out loud, as much for yourself as for Elliot.

"And they're going to be living close enough to us that we can keep an eye on things." You give him a stern look and he chuckles. "What? Tomek's parents asked me to. We have an understanding."

"Uh-huh. I'm sure you do."

"Hey, think of how you would feel if it was Lilly on the other side of the ocean. You'd be exactly the same."

Untrue. You'd be moving to Poland right along with her, but you're not telling Elliot that. "And you wonder why none of your older kids want to live in Manhattan."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I should check and make sure the food still tastes good."

"You're not going to help me with crowd control?"

"Sorry, bad knee," he says, clearly heartbroken. "I'll save you a plate."

"You'd better. I haven't even gotten the chance to sample anything yet."

You're about to part ways when he reaches for your hand. "I forgot something."

"Hmm?"

"Don't tell Lilly, but I think the mother of the bride's the most beautiful one in this whole place."

"Oh, stop that," you say, blushing as he kisses your cheek. "Go have a drink so you're not a nervous wreck walking her down the aisle."

"I've married off four kids before. I'm an old pro," he scoffs. While that _is_ true, he neglected to mention that he was a mess every time. And even though he claims that each of his kids' weddings have been special in their own way, you know that this one has extra meaning because this is his baby- his youngest child and the last of his daughters to get married.

Now the only unwed Stabler child is Noah, but it won't stay that way for much longer. You spot him and his girlfriend about to enter the buffet room and hurry to greet them before they get lost in the crowd.

"How did soundcheck go?" Noah's band is providing part of the entertainment during the reception. Despite not having played together recently due to his busy school schedule, they agreed to reunite for this auspicious occasion, and even planned to surprise the audience by playing a couple of Polish songs they'd just learned.

"We're good. We've already got our first groupie." He points to his bandmate and nephew, Maureen's son Benjamin, who's chatting up a pretty blonde girl that you recognize as part of the Polish contingent. Maybe a cousin? You've given up on trying to remember how everyone's related. "Who knows, we might be having another Stabler/Kozinski wedding soon."

"I doubt your dad would mind as long as they made all this food again. Now he'll _really_ never eat what I cook...Yael, he still hasn't stopped talking about your mom's lasagna that she made the last time we came for dinner. If she ever wants a full-time job as a personal chef, we'd hire her."

"I think she's happy being retired…but I'll let her know. Noah, hon, let's go say hi to your dad before he's in a food coma from too many cabbage rolls."

They wandered off to find Elliot, hand in hand, and the sight made you smile. You had known Yael and her parents for years, ever since you met at a gathering for children who were 'alumni' of the NYC foster system. As you later found out, the two of them had even briefly crossed paths at the ACS children's home when they were both infants, and you've always wondered if they subconsciously recognized each other when they were reunited. The kids stayed in touch throughout the years as casual friends, but you never thought it would become anything more than that.

Like your daughter, Noah also had a serious relationship in college that didn't work out. You still remember the day he came home for Thanksgiving and nervously told you that he had someone he wanted you to meet. Oh and by the way, his name is Shane, I think I forgot to tell you that I'm bisexual.

He had, in fact, neglected to previously mention that. Elliot took it in stride, telling Noah that all he cared about was that he had someone who made him happy and treated him with respect. You wish that you would have reacted the same way, but your mind went straight to all the hate crimes you'd seen throughout the years and how you couldn't bear to have your sweet boy suffer through something like that.

"And you don't think I worry about the same shit?" Elliot asked you later. "Did you forget that I was right there with you the whole time?"

"Then how the hell are you so calm about it?"

"Because he's a smart kid and he doesn't need a reminder that it's a shitty world out there. But he's also my son, and if he's going to share something that makes him happy, then I'm going to be happy with him. Cause _that's_ what he needs."

Elliot was right. You apologized to Noah the next day, reminding him that you were still new at this parenting thing and that once again, he was lucky to have a dad who knew what he was doing. (And that you were lucky to have a son that was so forgiving of your first-time mom mistakes.)

As it turned out, Shane was a wonderful young man and you all loved him instantly. "We took a vote and we actually like him more than you," Lilly told her brother. While that wasn't quite true, you were very fond of him, and thus Noah wasn't the only one who was heartbroken when they split up just shy of two years later.

"There has to be a way we can fix this," Elliot had said to you, but you had to remind him that the relationship wasn't yours to fix. They had realized that they both wanted different things in life, and so it was best for both of them if they split amicably rather than stay together and start resenting one another. It had been the mature thing to do and you were proud of him even if you were selfishly disappointed that Shane wouldn't be coming around anymore.

And then a few months later, there was Yael. At first you were happy with this development- if it couldn't be Shane, Yael was just the kind of partner you'd want for Noah. You knew that she was a kind, intelligent girl who came from a good family. As a graduate student herself, she understood that Noah's studies were important to him and she supported his ambitions even though their hectic schedules didn't leave much time to spend together. Things got progressively more serious and they started talking about getting married once they had both finished school...and that's when trouble started.

You were already well acquainted with Yael's family, so you knew that they were Jewish and that their faith was something very important to them. They had invited you to various celebrations over the years, from Rosh Hashanah dinners to Passover seders and Yael's bat mitzvah, and you always enjoyed the experience. Both Noah and Lilly had gone to Catholic schools from preschool to high school, so their friend groups weren't that religiously diverse and you were grateful that they had this opportunity to learn about a different culture.

But while Yael and her family could be found in the pews of their synagogue every weekend, your family was much less pious. Elliot had liked the idea of Catholic school from the beginning, of course, and you agreed because you approved of the academics and the small school environment. The kids got a lot of individual attention and you liked the emphasis on service to others, so you went along with it and made sure they heard _your_ viewpoint on certain issues at home. They participated in school masses and Confirmation and the like during the week and you left it up to them whether they wanted to go to church on Sunday. Nine times out of ten the answer was no, which was fine with you and Elliot, who always told them he cared more about them being good people than good Catholics.

The silent expectation was, however, that they would be nominally Christian. At least, that's what it had been in Elliot's mind. So when Noah told the two of you that he had started studying toward converting to Judaism, it didn't go over well at first.

For you, your main concern was that he was doing it just to please Yael or her parents. But when he told you that he was first and foremost making this choice because it was something he honestly believed in, something he had researched carefully and felt committed to- well, that was all you needed to hear. Noah had never been one to make big decisions lightly and when he said he'd done his research, you knew he really meant it. But Elliot was less convinced.

"What happens if you don't marry her? What happens if you get divorced?"

"Then I guess I'll be Jewish and divorced, won't I? Trust me, I'm not gonna spend two years studying and then...ooops, never mind, I'll just change my entire belief system because I'm not married anymore. For one thing, if I have kids-"

"Your kids are going to be Jewish too?!" Elliot cries out.

"Uh...yes?"

"So what, I don't get to buy them presents from Santa?"

"No. You can give them presents from Grandpa."

Elliot groans and smacks his palm on the table. "Santa doesn't even have anything to do with religion! Everyone loves Santa!"

At that point you had to step in and break up the argument. It was already sounding like a Dad/Lilly debate and that was the one benefit of her being eight hours away at school- that you didn't have to hear them bickering back and forth over some trivial point every day.

"You think it's too late for him to work things out with Shane?" Elliot asked you later that night. "I miss that kid. This wouldn't have happened if he'd stayed with Shane."

"We all liked Shane. But the relationship wasn't right for Noah, so it's not important what we think."

"And this one is?"

"So you're okay with him dating another guy, but not someone with a different religion."

Elliot scoffs. "He can be with someone of any gender, any religion, it doesn't matter to me. But why does _he_ have to change just because of that? What's wrong with the way we raised him?"

"This isn't a rejection of you, or of us. Do you feel like he should've gone to the police academy instead of med school just because that's what we did?"

He didn't say anything in reply, which is how you know you won. And even though you didn't share his feelings of being personally rejected, there was still an irrational voice in your head that worried he'd become closer to his in-laws than he was to you because they would have this part of their lives in common. But thus far it hasn't happened, and you've made a concerted effort to learn as much as you can to show your support, even if it means sitting for hours listening to prayers in a language you don't understand.

Elliot hasn't been as willing to embrace Noah's new life, but he's slowly coming around. Christmas was tricky, with Elliot initially refusing to make any entrée other than his traditional honey glazed ham because 'that's the way it's always been done, so take it or leave it'. You pointed out that Noah was already compromising by agreeing to attend Christmas Eve mass like his dad had asked him to, so why couldn't Elliot do the same for his son? Once again, the only reply you got was silence. But then on Christmas day, a (kosher!) turkey somehow turned up on the table next to the ham- a holiday miracle indeed.

You think that even if her fiance's family hadn't insisted on it, Lilly still would've had a traditional Catholic wedding as a concession to Elliot, knowing he was disappointed that Noah wouldn't be going the same route. There was also another wedding for Lilly to 'make up for'- one that her dad was still bitter about two decades later. Kathleen and her husband had made an unconventional choice when they decided to get married, eloping in secret one weekend and then not mentioning it to their families until months later. You still remember Eli questioning Kathleen about the ring he spotted on her finger as she reached for the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner.

"Oh yeah. We got married," she said casually, taking a bite of her food while Elliot's face turned the color of the cranberries on her plate.

You understood why they did it. Neither of them were the kind to want some big formal ceremony to begin with, and even a small event would have caused drama that they wouldn't want to deal with. You would have been on your best behavior no matter how uncomfortable you felt, of course, but you couldn't say the same for your husband.

The table fell silent, everyone looking toward Elliot and waiting for his reaction. His formerly crimson face was becoming a lovely shade of purple from holding his breath, probably to keep himself from blurting out God knows what, so you decided to intervene before CPR became necessary.

"That is...wonderful news. We're _all_ very happy for you. Right?"

Everyone was quick to offer their congratulations- that is, everyone but Elliot. Fortunately for him, Brian knew what was in his heart.

"Thanks, Pops," he said, thumping Elliot soundly on the back.

And here they are now, coming through the doors of the church- the Stabler family's most unlikely couple. You greet them warmly, hugging the preteen boy at their side.

"He's parking the car," Tommy explains when you ask about his father.

"Let's go save him a seat, huh?" Brian says, nudging his nephew toward the sanctuary as Kathleen follows behind them, and you're grateful for the reprieve. At this point in your life, most of the tension between you is long gone. You can see each other at family events and talk like friends and sometimes you almost forget the layers upon layers of a life you walked away from dozens of years ago. But then days like this come, days when you're more certain than ever that you made the right choice…and yet there's that tiny reminder that things could have been different.

You made the right choice. And so did Brian, despite what Elliot might think. They're still happy together after a quarter-century, which you know from experience is no small feat, and they've managed to weather everything life has thrown at them.

Not everyone is so lucky. Dickie- _Rich_ \- struggled for years to keep his marriage afloat. He knew his ex-wife had her issues even when they were still dating, but he thought that with time and with love, she could change. Of course, sometimes, love just isn't enough. You knew that more than almost anyone. Change has to come from within. You tried to be supportive, just like the rest of the family, and you even attempted to reach out to her on your own by sharing some of your personal struggles. But she made her choice, and now it's been seven years since Tommy's had contact with his mom.

You've all pitched in to help Rich and Tommy. Kathy moved in with them not long afterward so that she could take care of her grandson after school along with giving Rich a hand with the housework. Kathleen and Brian live nearby, and since they never had children of their own, they spend a lot of time with their nephew. So while Tommy's surrounded every day by people who love him, you understand the pain he feels at having a parent missing from his life. It's something you yourself still feel to this day.

But despite the sadness at what's missing, your heart is still full of love thanks to all the people you _do_ have- people like the three familiar faces you see walking into the lobby right now.

"I'm so glad you made it," you say, gently embracing the older man pushing a walker. At nearly 90 years old, Munch is moving a bit slowly these days, although his mind (and his mouth) are as sharp as ever. "Nick told me you'd been a little under the weather...are you doing better now?"

He scoffs. "I'm not dead yet, as much as Nurse Ratchet back at the old folks' home may wish I was. And even then, I still wouldn't miss this grand occasion! I'm a wedding expert, after all."

"You're _the_ expert," Nick agrees. After four unsuccessful marriages, you'd all heard Munch swear over and over again that he was done looking for love. But after a mild heart attack necessitated him selling his apartment and moving into the Hebrew Home for the Aged, love found him in the form of a woman named Helga, who he met after being forced to go eat his meals in the dining room for 'socialization purposes'. He had been threatening to go on a hunger strike if they kept wheeling him out of his room three times a day, but then Helga started chatting him up over butterscotch pudding and that all changed.

Their wedding in the rec room of the nursing home was simple but joyful. All the other residents pitched in to make the ceremony a success, even if you suspected some of them were just happy that Munch didn't grumble about everything quite the way he used to. There were flowers adorning the chuppah, a (low fat) cake baked by the kitchen staff, and even a small klezmer band made up of fellow residents. You'd never seen John Munch so genuinely happy, not even when he met each of your kids for the first time.

Sadly, but perhaps not unexpectedly, the marriage didn't last long. There was no divorce this time, though, just Helga passing away in her sleep a little over four years after they wed. You were all worried about how Munch would cope, but after the initial mourning period he seemed to adopt the mindset that it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. He vowed that this really _was_ his last marriage, and so far this has held true. "Do you know how many women want to console a grieving widower? This is no time for monogamy."

Nick's phone chimes as the four of you carefully make your way upstairs to the chapel. "Oh, I gotta take this. I'll catch up with you guys in there."

"Everything okay?" you ask Amanda.

"Yeah, it's fine. You know how he is about those damn animals. He had to FaceTime with the goats this morning before we left the hotel."

After years of moving in between coasts, Nick and Amanda had finally settled down on a small ranch in southern California so that Nick could live out his dream of owning a petting zoo. This wasn't just any petting zoo, though- all the animals had some sort of handicap, and his farm hands were other vets and retired police officers with disabilities or PTSD. At first you had all been skeptical of his great idea. He loved animals, sure, but he didn't really have any farming experience. To make matters worse, he and Amanda were on the verge of divorce at the time. But somehow he convinced her to stay and lend him the agricultural expertise she had from her childhood, and despite everyone's expectations...it worked.

You see Elliot emerge from the reception hall, where the crowd is starting to dissipate as everyone heads toward their seats. "Hey, it's time. Lilly texted me asking where we were."

"Duty calls," you tell Munch and Amanda, giving John's shoulder a gentle squeeze before following Elliot back downstairs. You can tell he's jittery and you offer him your hand. "Careful, El."

"I'm fine," he says, refusing to let you help steady him, and you roll your eyes when he can't see you. Old age hasn't made him (or you) any less stubborn.

Lilly's standing at the bottom of the stairs, Annaliese at her side and her bridesmaids rushing around behind her to do some last-minute hair and makeup adjustments. At least, you think that's what is going on. The only thing you see is your baby girl, the one you carried around for nine months and laughed and cried and celebrated and mourned with for 24 years, all grown up and ready to start a family of her own. And she's glowing.

"Seriously!" she huffs, stomping her foot in pretend frustration. "You guys, I said no crying. Now I'm going to have to..."

"Don't you dare, you'll ruin your makeup and all my hard work," Annaliese warns.

Lilly points toward you and Elliot, both of you trying and failing to remain stoic. "It's their fault."

"Okay, let's move!" Annaliese orders the group in her fresh-from-the-Academy tone. The bridesmaids file past you to join the groom upstairs, followed by Elizabeth and Eli's wife escorting their little ones who will serve as the ring bearer and flower girls. Elliot III gives you and his grandpa a thumbs up as he passes, his bowtie already askew, and you hear his mother hissing at him to "be GOOD!"

(You warned Lilly about the risks of having kids in the ceremony, but she just laughed and said there's no way she would leave out her little nieces and nephew. "Having everything go perfectly is so boring.")

And now it's just the three of you making your way up the stairs, trying to help Lilly hold up her skirt so she doesn't step on the hem, when you hear Noah's voice. "Hey! I've got a present for you real quick."

"Noah..." she groans at her brother, who's holding something behind his back and grinning. " _Now_?"

"Yes, _now_." You have no idea what he's up to, so you're as surprised as anyone when he pulls out two foam Statue of Liberty hats and a plastic torch.

All four of you burst into laughter. The kids were too young to remember that day, of course, but he still managed to find crowns that looked just like the one he was wearing in every picture you have of your wedding ceremony. "Get a pic of us, Mom?"

Lilly gently places the hat on her head, careful not to disturb the curls that her maid of honor spent so much time on. You take the picture and then she hugs her older brother. When she finally lets go, he signs something to her and she signs back, fingers flying too fast for you to understand. While you and Elliot gradually stopped signing years ago after her surgery, the two siblings still use it between themselves to this day.

"Okay, now go before they think you're a runaway bride," Noah says before heading off to return to his seat. You can hear the music starting to play from inside the chapel, and you're beginning to wonder what the hell you were thinking when you agreed to go along with Lilly's plan to have both parents walk her down the aisle.

"You're-"

"I'm _sure_!" she admonishes Elliot, elbowing him in the ribs as he takes her arm. She pushes a stray ringlet away from her face, fingers brushing over the thin pink scar behind her ear, and a fresh batch of tears threatens to stream down your cheeks when you remember the little girl who was so self-conscious that she would only wear her long hair down and brushed forward to hide her ear. "Mom. Mom, are you ready?"

"What? Oh yeah, sweetheart, I am," you lie.

"Any last words?" she teases. "Dad?"

He swallows hard. "Enjoy being a newlywed. I know you want a house full of kids, but take some time for just the two of you first, so you're not 70-somethings acting like newlyweds and embarrassing the younger generation." He punctuates his advice by leaning over to give you a long kiss until Lilly wrinkles up her nose and laughs.

"Okay, okay, stop. Point taken."

"But don't wait too long to make me a grandpa again."

"I won't, I promise. Momma?"

You look out at the room full of people anxiously awaiting the bride's arrival and think back to your own wedding day. The setting and the circumstances were very different, of course, but the emotions radiating from the chapel are the same ones you felt surrounding you inside the city clerk's office 23 years ago. "Remember all of this. Remember how many people you have that love you."

She nods, taking her first step forward as the organ music swells. You watch her as she looks out on the sea of smiling faces, of people she's known her whole life and people she's only just met, of blood relatives and family tied together by something so much stronger. Her eyes travel past the rows of guests and when she sees her husband-to-be waiting at the altar, her face breaks out into a grin as she drops your arm and waves her hand wildly.

He waves back with just as much enthusiasm and the crowd erupts into laughter.

She's going to be just as happy as you are. You're sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> to be continued!


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